we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
