She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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