Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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