Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
