Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
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