im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
