I heard we made out
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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