best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Ladies don't puke and tell
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
