I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
