We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
