Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
