GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We left an ass print on the piano.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
