He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
