"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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