Don't make out with my wife yet
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
