i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize