let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
