He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
