Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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