i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
