i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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