these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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