I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
