all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
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