i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize