sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
