I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
