do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
