hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
