So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
