Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
