the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
