just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize