Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
