The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
