YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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