The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We need to get me chipped asap
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
