there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
