Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
