david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
