You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
