I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Do vagina's smell?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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