Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
