I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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