I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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