In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
