i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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