She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
