I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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