no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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