i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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