strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
