I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
