does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
