I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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