Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
