And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
