He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
