They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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