time to smoke my breakfast
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
