"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We left the knife in your bed.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
