hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
