He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
